Listen Live
97.9 The Beat Featured Video
CLOSE

The Vice Presidential Debate was last night, and the highlight of the “show” was this fly that would not leave VP Pence’s side. Here are my theories on why:

5. Mike Pence is Dead

Corpse tag icon vector illustration

Source: cako74 / Getty

We knew some of the policies that the Trump and pence administration passed were heartless, but we didn’t think he literally didn’t have a heart. Welp, now ya know.

4. He Doesn’t Know the Lingo

Dead asian hornet (vespa velutina) on a fly swatter

Source: paula sierra / Getty

The world saw Trump’s lace showing on tv, and Pence refused to go that route. So he bought hair products off the street. But when he was told “this that fly ish,” he didn’t know they meant it literally.

3. Improper Wig Maintenance

Veda Loca Susan G. Komen

Source: Susan G. Komen Dallas / Susan G. Komen Dallas

Imagine wearing, styling, and sweating in your wig, but you ain’t washed it since quarantine. Of course you got flies! Now I’m not saying that’s not Pence’s hair. But I am saying this is funnier if I convince you it’s a hair piece.

2. Emotional Support

Dwayne Johnson My conversation with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris

Source: Retna/Avalon.red / WENN

Mike pence was getting his ass whooped on that stage. Kamala Harris checked him, the moderator checked him, Trump prolly texted him and checked him….and the fly realized it and wanted to offer his unwavering support. Somebody had to stay by his side.

1. It’s a FLY!

Fly on a Leaf

Source: Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty

You ever walked past a pile of booboo? What was on it? A whole lotta flies! Know why? Flies love feces! And booooooy Pence was on some bull-ish last night! So I salute that fly for being everything the Trump/Pence administration is not: something worth paying attention to.