Here’s to the New Year! But before we get to 2020, here are some things to leave behind:
5. Designer Baby Hairs
Maybe I can’t relate because my hair went through puberty and is all grown up, but stop sticking hairs to your forehead that look like an E flat or an EKG machine.
4. Lizzo’s Stylist
Anyone who lets their client leave the house in a black moomoo with the butt cut out, looking like Prince in that yellow catsuit…deserves to be fired.
3. Druggie Rappers
How many more kids have to start popping percs and xannies because rappers make it look cool to slowly kill yourself instead of getting help for your mental issues?? So how bout we not let Juice WRLD die in vain and tell these kids the truth: drugs are bad and weed is a plant.
2. MAGA Hats
Listen I’m not here to judge your head-wear options….yea I am. Saying that you want to “make America great again” makes the assumption that it was great at some period. When? The Trail of Tears? Slavery? Jim Crow? Mass Incarceration?? Last time America was “great” was before it was “discovered” by a murdering rapist. But happy Columbus Day.
The present is a gift, the past is history, and the future is a mystery. So let it all go: That time you forgot your lash glue. Starting an Only Fans page for 12 hours. Trying heroin – look….this is the start of a new year. A new decade. A new YOU. So strap your wig on tight, put your big girl panties on, and let’s make 2020 amazing!