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lilD

Source: lilD / lilD

Salute to Voyage Dallas Magazine for covering our very own lilD! They spoke about her journey in radio and her organization, “Grinding In Real Life.”

Check out a snippet below:

Has it been a smooth road?

I used to be very outgoing, the first one to make a friend. Then I was raped when I was seven and became very secluded. I voluntarily lost my virginity when I was 12, on a floor at my middle school. He told me I wasn’t ugly, and I had never heard that before. He didn’t even say I was pretty. Everyone found out, and I was the mockery of the school until I graduated.

When I was 17, I was raped again, one morning before school. When I got to class, the first thing someone said to me was “you smell like sex,” with the most disgusted look on his face. After my second failed suicide attempt, I realized that I sucked at trying to kill myself, and I wanted to get comfortable with myself if I was going to live. It took me until I was 25 to look at myself and say with certainty, “you’re really pretty.”

So imagine finally gaining a shred of confidence, just to realize you’re in an industry where you’re not stereotypically pretty. I’ve been passed up for jobs because my hair wasn’t straight. Because I didn’t have on makeup. They won’t come out and say “you’re ugly.” They’ll say “you should soften your image,” or “you would look really nice with straight hair.” Or my favorite, “you don’t look how a female personality should look.” If you don’t have tough skin, this industry will chew you up and eat you for breakfast.

I’ve cried so many tears, just wishing I looked like other female jocks who seemed to be getting ahead, but something inside of me wouldn’t allow me to compromise who I was. I knew I needed to keep this natural hair and embrace it, even though it was costing me money and opportunities. I just knew there were too many girls who looked like me who needed to know that they too were beautiful. And now I’m in the largest city in which I’ve ever done radio. This is currently the longest I’ve ever worn my natural hair at any radio station.

When I was homeless in Ohio, I would do my airshift in Cleveland, Saturday morning 9am-12pm, sleep in my car, then drive back to Toledo. I can vividly remember only having a loaf of bread and peanut butter and jelly to eat, for days at a time. One minute, I’m lilD the radio girl, and 5 hours later, I can’t even feed myself. And no one knew. I could’ve gone home and started over, but I had no interest in NOT pursuing my dream. Performing was the only thing that made me happy, so I fought for it. And the gamble paid off.

Read the full article here.

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