This is one of those stories where every choice an idiot criminal makes is more bizarre than the one before it. Let’s break it down . . .
–CHOICE #1. 28-year-old William Tyler Black went into a Wal-Mart in North Port, Florida, and decided that he wanted to PLEASURE HIMSELF inside the store.
–CHOICE #2. He grabbed a copy of the “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit issue off the magazine rack and decided he’d use THAT to get himself going.
–CHOICE #3. Rather than go to the bathroom . . . which would still be creepy, but at least it would be private . . . he decided he was going to do his business in one of the TOY aisles.
–CHOICE #4. He didn’t get cold feet. He actually took out his junk and went to town on it right in front of the toys. But an employee heard MOANING in the aisle, saw what was going on, and called the police.
–CHOICE #5. William “finished” on the ground, then rubbed his foot all over his mess to clean it up. And to get the stuff off of his hand, he wiped it on a “Star Wars” toy LIGHT SABER.
–Fortunately, by that time the cops had arrived. William was arrested and charged with battery on a child . . . since prosecutors say it’s reasonable that a child would come into contact with the fluid on the light saber.
Source- Krackblog.com
