Turning Point USA Plans 'All American Halftime Show'

US-POLITICS-TURNING POINT — Source: ALEX WROBLEWSKI / Getty

In today’s episode of Bad Bunny’s Milkshake Brought All The Salty White Nationalists To The Yard, Turning Point USA — the right-wing organization that was founded by Charlie Kirk and is currently plotting to invade HBCU homecomings to “educate” and “liberate” Black people from the Democratic Party — is planning an alternative Super Bowl halftime show that white and perpetually aggrieved Americans can watch if their ears are allergic to songs in Spanish.

As we have reported, Puerto Rican popstar Bad Bunny was announced as the headliner for the Super Bowl LX halftime show, and MAGA America is furious about it. So, Turning Point USA is providing a remedy for racists and xenophobes who hate Spanish and the people who speak it, and don’t understand how U.S. territories work, which is why the alternative halftime show is titled, “The All-American Halftime Show,” as if Bad Bunny isn’t a whole U.S. citizen.

Advertised as an event that will celebrate “faith, family and freedom” (they forgot to include fascism, fake news and field slavery fantasies), the show will premiere on February 8, 2026, while the overwhelming majority of Americans will be joining NFL fans around the world in watching the actual halftime show — because we’re not crazy cultists who think brown people should be off our stages and tending to our gardens or filling the seats of ICE paddy wagons.

On the event’s website, organizers are asking the public, “What music genres would you like to see featured?” The genre options include “Anything in English,” Americana, classic rock, country, Hip Hop (which I’m pretty sure is just their DEI option), pop, and “worship.” Apparently, they don’t already have artists lined up for this great, NFL-defying American show that is supposed to take place in four months, so they’re crowdsourcing for ideas on who to book.

I’m not even sure why they are bothering to ask people what musical genres they want to hear here at this Temu halftime show when they likely already have a short list of performers at the ready. We already know Kid Rock and Ted Nugent don’t have anything else going on. MAGA rapper Forgiato Blow is probably waiting by the phone in his double-wide as we speak. Jason Aldean would probably be thrilled to perform his pseudo-country song “Try That in a Small Town” while he continues to pretend he’s from a small town. (Macon, Georgia, has a population of nearly 160,000, but whatever.)

And, of course, there’s 82-year-old “God Bless the U.S.A.” singer Lee Greenwood, who performed at Kirk’s memorial-slash-MAGA pep rally, and was recently recommended to replace Bunny at the Super Bowl by House Speaker Mike Johnson, the 53-year-old with the musical taste of a 153-year-old.

Or, you know, maybe they can just get Kanye.

Holy sh*t, they’re probably going to get Kanye.