I took my little cousin to the fair yesterday and realized so many things about myself. Let me see if you can relate:
5. You’ll Feel Healthy
Even if you have funnel cake, sugary lemonade, and curly fries like I did, there’s someone eating a friend Oreo or fried butter. Fried. Butter. Enjoy your fries.
4. You’ll Finally Shoot Your Shot
Imagine getting on one of those rides where you’re so scared, you have to hold on to the one next to you. Go ahead and live out your tv fantasy and grab onto his arm real tight, look deeply into his eyes…and try not to throw up. Sexy.
3. You’ll Lose Weight
Even if you don’t walk a lot, you’ll absolutely sweat. Hell the walk from the car to the actual fair will burn 72 calories. You’ll come out of Fair Park looking like an “After” picture.
2. You Can Face Your Fears
Even if you’re like me and you like your feet to stay on the ground, you can kidnap someone’s kid and go on one of those kiddie rollercoasters (it’s called the Love Bug, if you need to do it). You can raise one of your hands, say “woooo” and bam: you were on a rollercoaster, with your bad self. You go girl.
1. You’ll Start Acting Your Age
It’s all fun and games walking around the fair, until you see a 13 year old getting her butt cuffed by her boyfriend, and you wanna ask her where her mama is, and her her that lil boy don’t want nothing from her but some lil sex later, and where y’all even gone have sex?? And it finally hits you: you’re officially an auntie. Sit down, be humble.