This guy Drake needs to be stopped before he starts a world war or something.
Puff was already well within his rights to (allegedly) put hands on Aubrey for jacking the “0 to 100” instrumental. But the stealthy creep grin over the shoulder while holding Diddy’s former Latin Queen for the gram? This man is more of a threat to international peace than Trump at this point.
Diddy now knows what Chris Brown, Common, Meek Mill and all of Drake’s exes have learned over the years: The seemingly mild-mannered yellow boy from Canada is actually a cold-blooded mack with a knack for revenge.
“I do not want any problems with Drake.” Diddy
Puff tried to cop a plea on The Breakfast Club last year as rumors about he and Drizzy’s reported altercation in Miami went viral. But it’s now clear that even outright humility won’t satisfy this young tyrant’s blood lust.
Drake’s already fooled millions of dollars out of the masses with his trademark simp act. But how much longer can the world ignore the fact this man has been racking up more bodies than Kim Jong-un while masterfully playing the role of rap’s innocent prince?
We cannot in good conscious continue to ignore Drake’s passive aggressive flexes and reckless romancing. He poses the same threat to the game that the world’s emperors and autocrats pose the planet. Left unchecked, he will start a world war simply to affirm his ego.
As John Kerry told the U.N. in regards to Israel and Pakistan’s conundrum, some things have to be one way or another. If Drake is real, he can either be a sensitive square or a ruthless pimp. He cannot be both.
Speaking of war, you already know Funkmaster Flex bombed his pants over Drizzy’s cuddle shot with Jenny from the Block.
The fact that a man with almost 50 years on this planet and an unlimited arsenal of explosives at his disposal is so riled up over Drake’s love life is proof that Aubrey is a threat to everyone’s safety. But we should be less concerned with the men Drizzy has hurt than the trail of powerful women he appears to have scorned.
And we all have the right to be in our feelings. Drake’s a few years older, but I know I spotted J. Lo first. I fell for Selena before I could walk upright. But some things in this life just aren’t fair.
In 2009, I wrote my first published blog asking if Drake was the realest in mainstream rap because of his willingness to embrace his corny roots. His act was especially unique in an era when some visible level of street cred was seen as a requirement of being taken seriously as an MC. This was before Meek Mill went Poppa Doc on Drake in a battle and alt-rappers like Childish Gambino started collecting mainstream spins and rap Grammy nods.
At the time, Drake seemed so trustworthy because it seemed like he had nothing to hide. Now he’s running the same game on every one of our childhood dream girls.
The Young & Naive 40 (circa 2009):
“Who’s Real” for XXL
“The past decade, we’ve all had to suffer through the lies and subsequent exposures of rappers who put more work into their image than their rhymes. The list of fake thugs, Bloods, and king pins is too long to type … but it’s kind of refreshing that a kid who used to get his spending money from Bar Mitzvah checks instead of alleged hand-to-hands actually has the loudest buzz in the game right now.”
It’s now clear that Drake’s clearly been using his Degrassi acting chops to fool the world into thinking he’s a harmless sappy square from the suburbs of Canada. And he’s used his masterful act to execute a hit list of every millennial’s most beloved crushes. All while turning the nation’s hardest working strippers into global brands.
We know Halle, Erykah, Tatyanna Ali, Tyra Banks, Serena, Rihanna and now J. Lo have all been targets of Drizzy’s cold-blooded calculations. Not to mention the countless kings, both young and old, who’ve had their egos slayed by the game’s beige knight and his ruthless plots for revenge. The boy’s two-way game is so ruthless he rushed the Goddess Serena to the altar in less than a year.
So with Drake now provoking the Bad Boy Empire from afar and Trump just weeks from receiving the nuclear codes, we need to honestly address the clear and present danger ahead before we wake up one morning in the middle of a world war.
Drizzy will clearly stop at nothing to continue checking off his bucket list of A-list dime pieces. Just as Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un will continue to threaten worldwide terror to justify and reaffirm their privileged existences.
It’s time we acknowledge both realities and holding all parties accountable for their attempts to play both sides of the fence. We’ve been fooled enough to know better at this point.
You can bet money Barack isn’t leaving Michelle in a room alone with this simp-anthem-singing, soap-opera-acting Canadian super spy.
It’s time to start treating Drake like the most dangerous man on the planet. As of December 27, 2016, he clearly is.
Simpin’ Ain’t Easy: Drake Is Not Who We Think He Is was originally published on globalgrind.com