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Monica Lewisky has decided to break her decade-and-a-half silence about the infamous affair with then President Bill Clinton in the new issue of Vanity Fair.

Perhaps by sharing my story, I reasoned, I might be able to help others in their darkest moments of humiliation.

Lewinsky says the pressure  of the scandal nearly led her to suicide. She says the relationship was consensual, but also says the way she was treated after it came out to the public was unfair.

Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship. Any ‘abuse’ came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position.

In the issue, she also sends a message to Beyonce after Bey referenced Lewinsky in her song “Partition” to metaphorically describe a sexual act between her and Jay Z. “He Monica Lewinsky-ed all on my blouse.”

Thanks, Beyoncé, but if we’re verbing, I think you meant ‘Bill Clinton‘d all on my gown,’ not ‘Monica Lewinsky’d.

Maybe the song from ‘Yonce is what motivated her to break her almost two-decade silence about the affair that rocked an administration and ruined her life. We may never know. But Lewinsky says enough is enough.

It’s time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress,” she wrote. “I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton. Let me say it again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.

Look for the article on Vanity Fair’s website May 8 and on newsstands May 13, and read more about what she had to say at Global Grind.