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It’s really disrespectful, the way you look over the most important people in your life. So here’s why they deserve love too:

5. Your Doctor – Not the one you pay a copay to talk to for 10 minutes while they guess what’s wrong with you. But the doctor whose medicine always works for your anxiety, lack of appetite, and mild depression…Dr. Dre. You know, cause he made “the chronic” and that’s weed…and this is a weed joke…never mind.

4. Your Teacher – Not in the classroom…they’re more like the hood therapist that you call for everything from outfit help, to calming you down before you do something crazy. She loves helping you out, but you’re a mess, so at least say thank you by buying her a sack of weed so she can deal with you. She is me. I am she.

3. Your Parents – It’s bad enough they had to raise YOU, but now you keep taking them bad ass kids over there. If I change ONE diaper, you owe me. They changed them for years, then washed the sheets you peed on. Get them anything but money. Money will have them paying to change the locks on you.

2. Your Pastor – Your pastor can probably afford to buy everyone in your family something nice, wit YO money, praise the lord. So the only gift your pastor needs, is a stack of all the bills you behind on, while still paying tithes and offerings. I’m sure pastor will pay it, right….

1. Your Babysitter – Sis…you know them kids bad as hell. That’s why you leave them with the babysitter so much! And every time you wanna have a girls night out, she can’t wait to come over and watch them tear your house up. Yea…go ahead and buy her a pack of condoms, cause she sleeping with your husband.

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