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Happy Good Friday! Let’s keep the positive vibes, happy thoughts, and good news going. So avoid these things at all costs.

5. You Sample New Weed

Close Up Of Marijuana In Containers

Source: Roxana Gonzalez / EyeEm / Getty

You’ve never had this strand, you don’t know how it’s gonna affect you, and BAM…you can’t move and you’ve missed every weekend activity. Listen don’t go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the reggie and the mid grade you’re used to.

4. You’re the Victim of a Stampede

Ms. Lauryn Hill 'The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill' 20th Anniversary Tour - Melbourne

Source: Naomi Rahim / Getty

Imagine going to a concert, but you wanna be fashionably late, as if anyone there gives a damn about what YOU put on. And you’re my height so you’re not bullying your way to the front. You’re standing in the middle texting, the headliner comes on stage and BAM…broken toe as everyone rushes to the front. Next time, just be early so you’re already in the front.

3. Your Brakes go Out

Drunk Driver Warning

Source: Bonnie Schupp / Getty

Your brakes been squeaking for 4 months, then they started grinding, but you thought it was a game. So you’re trying to go out, slam on your brakes and BAM…you can’t stop. Look go get your brakes fixed before you wind up on the news.

2. You Get Roaches

Roach Milk

Source: Forbes / Forbes

You’re a grown woman. You’re busy, holding down everything on your own. But baby….if you don’t get those dishes in order. Too late; you got critters all in the sink. And if you SEE 1, that means there are 100 in the walls. Now go clean up before you get embarrassed in front of company.

1. You Get Jury Duty

Justice and gavel

Source: SEAN GLADWELL / Getty

I know, I know. It’s your obligation to serve your community and make our justice system, just. But it’s also first Friday and you tryna kick it. Ain’t nobody got time to be deciding someone’s fate! Next time, tell them you’re a Jehovah’s Witness and it’s against your religion to do jury duty. You’re welcome.

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