If you watched the NFL draft like we did, you know the addition of Geno Smith, the stubbornness of Jets coach Rex Ryan and the amount of backmail material Mark Sanchez must have on the entire organization, all equal up the NY Jets finally cutting ties with quartberback Tim Tebow.
After a high-profile, yet questionable, acquisition from Denver and lot of media hype, (we’re looking at YOU Skip Bayless!) the Jets saw to it that wide-receiver Jeremih Kerley had more yards passing the football than Timmy this past season. Hell, I’VE had more yards passing gas than Timmy! They even started 3rd stringer Greg McElroy over Tebow while he stood on the sidelines in his hometown. Love him or hate him he former back-up was definitely treated like runway road kill.
With offers already coming in from the lingerie football league to be a coach, we here at T.U.D. decided to help the disen-former-franchised QB find life beyond the pigskin.
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5) Bible Salesman – It’s only right. Tim Tebow’s faith is no secret and he had to get the patience of a saint to keep from killing Rex Tyan from somewhere. I’m sure those prayers brought him closer to baby Jesus with every game. Besides, who wouldn’t buy the world’s best selling book from the most popular Christian in NY since Jeremy Lin?
4) Spokesman for “ChristianSinglesMeet.com.” – The natural charisma he showed off on the talk show circuit can still be his bread and butter. If Tim Tebow didn’t show you anything else this season it’s that Christians need love too. And hey ladies, it’s a chance to bag the cherry off a celeb virgin. Just saying…
3) Dancing With The Stars – With “Tebowing” becoming a national phenomenon, I see him getting down at least two different ways. On one end, he’s practically the NFL’s Fred Astaire the way he danced around every question in those last few weeks. And after having the Jets moonwalk all over him, dude knows how to judge great footwork when he sees it.
2) Personal Assistant to Skip Bayless – It’s not really hard to see where “ESPN 1st Take’s” Skip Bayless gets the lion share of blame for the fiasco that is Tim Tebow. They hype he stacked around the man with his “Free Tebow” campaign made low-key life a distant memory. The way I see it, he got Skip a Woody Award, Skip can at least get him a job.
1) Kobe Bryant’s Foot-Rest. – Even in the face of obvious foulness on the part of the Jets, the mainstream media has already given Tebow the boot out of professional football. And that’s because the Jets kept their foot on Tebow’s neck. Being paid to be underfoot for is nothing new so why not help out a guy who will have a job in sports next year?
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