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My birthday is coming up, and I want everyone to feel the level of joy and excitement that I do. So here are some things we should all be celebrating:

5. You Get Your Period

Woman choosing between two brands of sanitary napkins or tampons during coronavirus outbreak

Source: zoranm / Getty

Nobody wants to celebrate the cramping, emotional, irritability that is PMS. But as reckless as you are, I know you can’t believe it actually came. And THAT is something to celebrate.

4. You Get Your Taxes

Count Every Vote Rally In Philadelphia

Source: Bryan Bedder / Getty

Act like it’s not a celebration if you want. How many times have you already said “maaaan when I get my taxes back, I’m gonna….” exactly. So it’s okay to turn up a little. Just don’t spend it all in one place.

3. Football Back

Washington Redskins v Dallas Cowboys

Source: Wesley Hitt / Getty

You don’t watch football so I know you don’t care about who’s in the playoffs. But your man does. He cares so much, it frees up just enough time for you to cheat and not get caught. Thank you NFL, thank you.

2. Your Kid Starts Kindergarten

Group of graduates throwing mortar boards in air

Source: Thomas Barwick / Getty

Awwww your baby is a big kid now! I know you don’t want them to grow up, but this is definitely the time to celebrate! You just saved $700 a month by switching from daycare to public school. Won’t he do it!

1. It’s Your Birthday!

Joyner Lucas

Source: Echoing Soundz Publicity

Okay maybe it’s not yours, but that’s okay. You can celebrate mine Friday, at my party! And you get so much free stuff, you’ll feel like it’s your birthday too.

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