War is nothing to joke about….but let’s joke about it anyway. We have some superheroes who may need to lend a hand to the military for this one.
5. Bishop from ‘Juice’ – Bishop killed Raheem! His best friend!! Then he shot the fat one…Steel…and was trying to kill Q! If he was willing to take out his entire crew of best friends, you think he gives a damn about killing strangers??
4. Madea from Allll Those Movies – Madea finds a reason to pull out that weak 38 from that duffle bag of a purse in every movie and stage play. Then she gets to preaching about love and togetherness, someone sings, and bam: play over. If she takes that attitude to Iran, they’ll surrender just to get her to shut up.
3. Tony Montana from ‘Scarface’ – He had guns, yes. He shot some people, sure. But his best quality was that he was a hardcore coke head. He’s gonna do more lines than Jesus’ part in the Bible. You can use him as a shield; he’ll be so high, he won’t even feel the bullets.
2. Tommy from ‘Power’ – If you watch “Power,” you know Tommy is crazy. He strangled his pregnant fiance, he left his most loyal crew member in jail for 20 years, he might’ve shot his bestie Ghost – and I wish they would stop playing and tell us – and he’s been living with nothing to lose since season 1! Put him on the front line!
1. Neo from ‘The Matrix’ – Do I even need to explain? After Neo spoke with the Oracle, the man literally dodged bullets. He dodged bullets!! He put his hand up, and the bullets stopped mid-air…he picked them up, and held them like a newborn puppy. You think you gone kill “the one??” His bags should already be packed for Iran.