I’ll admit…I tried it. I created an online dating profile thinking I would find a bae. All I found was a headache, and every reason while I’ll never do it again.

5. Because You Know How to Talk – You know how those messages are: “hey. what you doing? how are you? hey beautiful.” Bruh!! Ask about my goals, aspirations! Oh, you’re on here because you don’t know how to talk to people. Girl go meet people in person; they tend to speak full sentences.

4. Because Your Phone Service Won’t Let You be Great – So you post a few pictures, then boom: likes, messages, hearts, and whatever else they’re using. And you think a few of them are cute! So you go to reply, and the message won’t send. Then you remember you have no reception on the left side of your couch, so you gotta move to the right side, but then you can’t see the tv that good. And don’t even think about replying after you leave the house. You gone have to hold the phone at a 45 degree angle while standing on one leg…just to reply.

3. Because You Actually Want Love – Now maybe the paid apps are different, because you’re prolly serious if you pay for it, but don’t expect too much love from a free site. 9 times out of 10, they tryna get that booty meat. So preserve your booty meat for someone who also wants your brain meat.

2. Because You Look Better in Person – So you think you finna get swiped right on with them fuzzy front-facing pictures from that iPhone 6s?? We can’t even appreciate the effort you put into shaping your brows!! So get out the house and show out.

1. Because You Too Fine for This! – Not saying everyone on dating sites are unattractive. That’s a lie. But when all the messages you get are from people saying you’re too pretty to be single, they’re not lying! Girl if you don’t go out there and mingle and get your man!

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