I spent Sunday with my homegirl’s kid and it changed my life. Here’s why you should try it:
5. You Can Give them Back When You’re Done
Hanging with your friends’ kids is super fun! They think you’re cool, you wear them out so they’re good and sleepy…and just when you start yawning, their mama hits you with that text that they’re outside. Bye kids!
4. You Can Pick Up Men
What’s more attractive than a woman cheering on her baby at the game…? A MAN doing it! Yes bae, cheer on your son, who I hope you only have on the weekends! What you doing after you drop him off at his mama house?
3. It’s Great Practice
Eventually Ima retire my hot pocket and have a family. And when I do, I’ll know how to conduct myself around those little things you call children, without wanting to strangle them.
2. It’s Great Birth Control
Every time I say I’m ready to have kids, I spend the day with my homegirl’s daughter and let me tell you….I’m not there yet. They never get tired, they’re always hungry, and they think you’re rich. Who invented kids??? I need to have a word with them.
1. Because Everyone Except You Has Kids
Imagine have people apply to be your friend, and they gotta check a box saying whether or not they have a kid. And it’s an automatic rejection, like tryna get a job and having a felony. You and your #TeamNoKids looking ass gone be real lonely.