People have gotten out of control with their marijuana use, and I’m here to put an end to it. Here’s why you should just say no to the non-habit forming, totally safe “drug.”
5. You’ll be Super Early to Everything
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You full of that gas and two minutes feels like two hours. So if you have a job interview Wednesday at 2, you’re gonna show up no later than noon…the day before.
4. Your Grocery Bill will be Through the Roof
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Imagine sitting at home and smoking a fat one, and now you’re high. Are you gonna go rob someone? No. Are you gonna beat someone up? No. You’re gonna attack though…you’re gonna attack your pantry and eat all the lunchables and juicy juices. Now you’re out of the $40 you spent on your kids’ lunches.
3. You’ll Become a Conspiracy Theorist
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Once you’ve smoked that Mary Jane, you start thinking about stuff like, how did they come up with Mary Jane for marijuana? They could’ve called it Mary Juanita…? And do you really want your friends thinking you’re crazy for being all deep…?
2. You Never Take Anything Seriously
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Now that you’ve crowded your mind with that THC, everything is a freaking joke to you. Like your friend calls you and says “my wife just left me!” You’ll be the one to reply, “don’t worry; she’ll come RIGHT back. Get it? Right…back…?”
1. You Won’t Become Addicted
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What’s the point of doing a drug if not to become completely dependent on it?? So what, you’re not gonna sell your body for it? You’re not gonna steal a tv out your mama’s house for it? You’re not gonna kill someone for $2 for it?? You’re just gonna smoke it when you feel like it, and quit whenever you want, and live your life like a normal human being??? Who would ever wanna do that??
