My biggest pet peeve is people lying to me, especially when it’s unnecessary. Here are some of the biggest lies people tell.
5. “I’m on the way”
I’ll never understand this lie. If you on the couch eating Funyuns and playing Xbox and have no intentions of coming to your cousin’s wedding, just tell him the truth; you smashed his chick so you don’t think it’s a good idea to be there. Eh….nah, just lie.
4. “I didn’t even hear my phone ring!”
How you miss my call but was on Instagram 2 minutes later?? Just do what I do; let it ring, then text and say “I just don’t feel like talking to you. Ima hit you back when I do.” Is that mean?
3. “I love you too”
You just met your daddy for the first time in life, and he’s all “I love you so much!” Uh, sir. Ima say it back to be nice, but I need some time to feel you out first. I barely like you. Pay my mama some back child support and I might think about loving you.
2. “You don’t look fat at all!”
Stop lying to your friends! She can barely zip up that dress, she has more rolls than Thanksgiving, and popped a button in the dressing room…and that was while she was sucking in! Keep it 100 with her and tell her to go up a size or 3.
1. “I’ve never been convicted of a felony”
My daddy got fired after 10 years because he lied about having a felony. Listen, just tell the truth. It’s not like the justice system is set up for felons to leave prison and not have any opportunity, thus resorting to illegal means to make money and returning to prison, feeding the problem of mass incarceration….