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Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have been in a relationship for the last 7 years and I have been raising his daughter as my own and now we have two additional children and another one on the way. The three we have together are all under 3. The problem is that for the last two years our relationship hasn’t been all that great but we have still held on. Now that we are approaching 30, he says that he wants to see what it’s like to live on his own and do his own thing and I should support him, meaning that I don’t see anyone while he does this. That way when he has had enough then we will get married and be a family. I think it’s a crazy suggestion, but at the same time I have let it go on by not saying anything about it other than I don’t like it. I guess my question is should I go along with this ridiculous idea, or just cut it off with him? – Pregnant, Emotional, And Confused
Dear Pregnant, Emotional, And Confused,
Are you pregnant and delusional as well? I mean seriously. For 7 years you’ve been cohabitating with this man, produced children, living together as a family, and now he wants to go and “explore,” and “sow his wild oats,” while you support him and you sit at home waiting for him to return? LMBAO!
Girl, I want you to take a poll from some common sense women. Some women who actually use their brains and are in stable life-affirming marriages with men they’ve been with for over 10 years. Ask them this same asinine question you just asked me and see what they say.
I can’t believe he had the balls and gall to say some –ish like this to you with a straight face, and he is still living in your house. You really have this man living with you and under your roof, alive? Honey, ever dish, chair, television, silverware, and anything else throw-able and within arm’s reach should have gone upside his head. What the hell?!?! I swear you women put up with some nonsense that make me think that something truly has infested our food resources, or drinking water, because whatever you’re digesting it truly has diluted your minds from thinking rationale or logical.
Please, please, please do not entertain or give him any thoughts that you are considering this bull –ish. So, let me ask you something. What if he meets another woman while he’s out philandering and she becomes pregnant? What if he falls in love with another woman period? What if he catches a disease and brings it home to you? And, how long is he supposed to be gone and venturing into the world of women while you’re sitting at home waiting for him to return? Chile, why am I even asking you these questions? You’re stupid enough to be in a relationship with a man for 7 years, have children with him, live with him, play house and not be married. You have no one to blame but yourself.
Look, Ms. Pregnant, Emotional, And Confused, there are several other adjectives I can use to describe you, but I’m going to refrain because clearly you wouldn’t understand them or know the meaning of them if I did. Here’s what I suggest: Let him go and explore and do his thing. While, he’s gone, change the locks on the house, change your numbers, delete your email account or block his emails, and begin the journey to living for you and your children. If he comes back, begging and pleading, whisper in his ear every night “You will die a slow a painful death.” And, every time he comes around laugh in his face and ask him, “Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?” LMBAO! Chile, let me stop. It’s clear that if a man suggests this absurd and crazy ass nonsense, then he doesn’t love you, has no plans on marrying you, and he wants to see if there is something else out there better. Honey, let him go find “better.” Girl, I had to take a break and go smoke me a cigarette (Newport), and I don’t even smoke. I’m still SMDH at you and this letter. Is this man Tiger Woods? Is he LeBron James? Is he Bill Gates? Chile, is he FINE, FINE, FINE Idris Elba? I mean come the f**k on! You’re dealing with a broke, no good for nothing, ain’t even FINE, and don’t even, at least, got a body like The Rock, LL COOL J, or Nelly. WHEW! (fans self and takes a cold shower). Girl, it’s time for you to move on, cut him off, and get you some self-esteem, life building classes, and some empowerment and self-love. You’ve wasted 7 years of your life with this man, don’t waste another day, hour, minute, or second. As a matter of fact, change the locks on the house today. Put his things on the porch in those Hefty trash bags and get your Angela Bassett on! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
How many of you would let your mate go explore other people, and you’re not allowed to, and allow them to come back to you?
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Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!