Happy Cinco de Mayo! While everyone is going to find a way to celebrate, here’s why you need to make friends with a Mexican person and celebrate the right way.
5. To Learn a New Language
I took 2 years of Spanish in high school, and I still can’t do anything past count to 10 and ask where is the bathroom. And in case you forgot….we’re in TEXAS! So…instead of spending a car note on Rosetta Stone, Ima just start hanging out with Jesse Salazar.
4. You’ll Never be Nervous at the Cookout
When’s the last time you went to a Mexican restaurant and said “I hope the food is seasoned?” NEVER! Can you image the perfection of the meals at your Mexican friend’s family cookout? Cabbage, cornbread and quesadillas. Okra and elote. See where I’m going with this? Leave the hot sauce and Tony Chachere’s at the crib; you good.
3. To Stop Assuming Everyone is Mexican
One thing I learned early is that Puerto Ricans aren’t Dominican, and neither of them are Mexican. And you’ll get these hands for mislabeling them. Just because we don’t know what country we’re from, doesn’t mean we can just call all of them “Hispanic.” Ask some questions, damn.
2. Y’all Can Bond Over Everyone’s Hatred of You
The only real race, is the human race……..okay that’s some bs. But the good thing is, they hate me and my Mexican brethren the same. Mass incarceration, massive border wall…we love watermelon, they love working 24 hours a day…shall I go on? And therefore, we should grab a beer, hug it out, and remember we’re stronger together. Cause don’t nobody else want us.
1. To Learn the Actual Meaning of Cinco De Mayo!
I once had a homegirl who said “aye….you realize Cinco de Mayo is always on May 5th??” Dawg, you drink Corona and eat tacos on every Tuesday and every Cinco de Mayo. At least figure out why that has NOTHING to do with the holiday…then precede to get loaded anyway. Happy Cinco!