With more people staying home, the internet has more of our attention. But here are 5 people we need to stop giving attention to.
5. The Meme Motivational Speaker
You’ve seen them. All they post are pics of WORDS. “You choose your happiness” or “don’t wait on a door to open; go through the window.” Or my favorite: “after every dark night, there’s a bright day.” We get it: this is more for you, than for us. But stop tryna be Iyanla Vanzandt and just read her book.
4. The Supermodel
Now I don’t mean professional models. It’s literally your job to look good. I mean the chick who ate an egg sandwich for dinner because she spent $150 on makeup, just to have an Instagram photoshoot. We get it; you don’t have self-esteem. But stop trying to convince us that you woke up with those lashes.
3. The Super Religious Chick
Listen I will never judge you for exercising your freedom of religion. But don’t post all these “seek his kingdom,John 3:16” ass posts on your Instagram…then have an Only Fans link in your Twitter bio, charging $12/month to see you bust it wide open. We get it: you’re ashamed of being a porn star. But don’t try and convince us that your use that mouth to praise your creator.
2. The Weight Loss Entrepreneur
You know why that tea works? It makes you booboo. Anyone will lose weight if they spend half the day on the toilet. Then they want you to “join their team” so you too can work for yourself and push people to drink this magical diarrhea potion. We get it: you need a job. But when your clients become dehydrated from pooping, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
1. The Man Telling Women How to get a Man
Whew chile I can’t stand this one! “I’m gonna tell you w hat men really want, and you’re gonna listen to me because I’m in a committed, successful marriage. Nevermind the fact that my new wife is my old sidechick, and I’m cheating on her too. Ladies, I can help you get a man.” We get it: you love making money off of lonely ladies. But Steve…we don’t wanna THINK like you! We’ve seen your stepdaughter.