Mendeecees just got out of prison after a 4 year bid, and I’m sure his wife Yandy couldn’t be happier. But I don’t have that much loyalty in me. Here’s why:

5. Because He’s Going Back – Be real with yourself: trapping is in his blood. His cell won’t even get cold before he occupies it again. He’s never gonna change. And you should’ve known that when he told you his name was Tyrone “El Chapo Jr.” Johnson.

4. You Deserve to Have Fun While You Can – Depending on how much time he got, he gone get you pregnant the DAY he gets out. So you telling me you spent 5 years NOT getting your insides rearranged…just to spend 9 months with morning sickness and swollen feet? Whew, you lost, sis.

3. You Can Pretend to be Loyal – You ever hear people say “people in jail know about what happens in the streets before the streets know.” Well…neither the streets nor jail bae need to know that you getting yours until he comes home. It’s not like you falling in love. He don’t mean nothing to you; you not leaving your family! Don’t that sound like the bs they try to tell us anyway…?

2. It’s Cheaper – Let’s do some math: the phone calls, commissary, gas or bus money for visits…that can add up quickly. But you can save a bunch of money by switching your jail bae to a free bae.

1. He Ain’t Waiting on You! – That man got 15 years in prison; you really think you the only one coming to see him?? And if it’s not another chick coming to see HIM….you better believe HE’S…going to see someone…so get yours, because he’s getting his.

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