Listen, everyone lies. But some are more common than others. Check out the list:
5. “I Know How to Swim”
Now your daddy might know how to swim…your uncle might know how. But line up 10 black women…and one might know how to doggy paddle. Ain’t no swimming cap fitting around those 22 inches of Peruvian or Malaysian or Ecuadorian hair. So yea….just know you might have to save someone’s life.
4. “My Car is in the Shop”
When is the last time you WANTED to give someone a ride…? So you already know you’ll make up any excuse you can, to get out of putting on pants and doing someone a favor. And what better excuse than “my car is not here because something is wrong with it?” Next time someone tries to give you that lie, wait about 3 weeks and bring it back up, catch them in that lie…then ask for a ride to work.
3. “I’m Up the Street”
Now if you don’t have any black friends, lemme explain something to you: “up the street” means “I’m leaving my house in bout 15 minutes, and I’ll be to you in bout 45.” I think when God made black people, he made our internal clock “up the street” from everyone else’s. We prolly not even born on time. So yea, they up the street. Up the street, down the tollway, and bout 6 exits and a half a tank of gas away.
2. “Ima Pay You Back Next Payday”
My daddy always told me, don’t ever loan anyone money that you need back. And that’s because you’ll wind up on a hamster wheel of lies: “Ima pay you back when I get paid…Ima pay you back next Friday…Ima get you next time…” listen, they’re all lies. You’ll never see that $20 again.
1. “My Dog Don’t Bite”
I have a cat and people act like there’s a Siberian Tiger in my house. But people with German Shepards that just got out of quarantine, swear up and down that their dog is friendly. He’s growling, drooling at the mouth, and has blood dripping onto his paw….but “he don’t bite.” Yea okay. Believe that if you want to, and leave his house with one less hand.