I had an amazing birthday dinner! But my friends…you gotta know who to leave at home. Here’s why:
5. They Don’t Have a Sophisticated Palette
Source: Hot Chicken Takeover / Hot Chicken Takeover
We had black truffle and caviar deviled eggs. $20 cocktails. $50 plates. And while your hood friend is pretending to search the menu for the perfect dish, when the server comes, the first thing out their mouth is, “aye y’all sell wings??”
4. They Twerk Everywhere They Go
Source: Gabriele Moore / Gabriele Moore
Everyone loves a good Megan Thee Stallion turn up. When your song comes on, you can’t fight the feeling. But trust me, you will NOT hear “5 Star Chick” in this five star restaurant. But your hood friend is gonna find a way to shake that ass to Frank Sinatra. Whew, the ghetto.
3. They’ll be 6 Hours Late
Source: PPE/News Pictures/WENN.com / WENN
Now we all have those friends who are never on time. Maybe 10, 20 minutes…that’s slightly acceptable. But your hood friends?? You gotta tell them that dinner is 18 hours before it actually is, so they can only be 30 minutes late.
2. They Don’t Have an Inside Voice
Source: Frederic Lucano / Getty
You’re at a high class restaurant. Someone is playing the piano, people are having quiet conversations. And here comes your hood friend, talking like they at Rudy’s ordering a 2-piece from the drive-thru. And the worst part is they don’t know they’re loud! So you tell them they’re loud, and how do they respond…? “I’M LOUD??”
1. They Don’t Have a Fancy Restaurant Vocabulary
Source: dariuscooks.com / http://www.dariuscooks.com
If you’ve never been anywhere, chances are you can’t pronounce everything on the menu. But ask your homegirl, ask your server, hell ask Siri! But your hood friends don’t ask. They just say things like SAL-mon. People who call it SAL-mon, deserve to eat SAL-mon from a fried fish spot with to-go containers and plastic cutlery.
