I know sometimes getting older can make you feel like your life is ending, but there’s beauty is acting your age. Here’s why:
5. You’ll Keep Your Barber
So you’re balding, huh? And instead of embracing it, you out here trying to hold on to your hair like Stevie Wonder. Well he can’t see his atrocious hairline, but you’re well aware that you looking like the old Lebron. And guess what? The kids know that’s Beijing. Just give it up, Mr. Lester. It’s time to go bald.
4. It’s Cheaper
Your closet is full of bell bottoms, air forces, and jeans with rhinestones on the butt. It’s gonna take you 7 paychecks to buy a wardrobe full of clothes that look like they’re from this millennium. Don’t go chasing waterfalls, Ms. Pearly. Please stick to the Girbauds and the Phat Farm you’re used to.
3. You’ll Feel Smarter
Today’s slang is complicated, and the kids move on so fast. So while you’re still saying your eyebrows are “on fleek,” they’ve moved on to saying it’s “on period…” and you’re wondering why they’re talking so much about their menstrual cycle. Just give it up, Ms. Sherlene.
2. It’s Good for Your Knees
You out here listening to “Big Ole Freak” like it’s Adina Howard “Freak Like Me,” but your twerk ain’t what it used to be. Now you threw your back out trying to keep up with 20 year olds. THEY can’t even keep up with Megan. Stick to your two-step, Ms. Gladys.
1. You’ll Feel More Respected
You out here trying to go to Pryme, because that’s where the young whippersnappers are. And you go to request a song, because that’s what the kids do. But the DJ doesn’t have “The Humpty Dance!” Now what are you gonna do?? Take your geriatric behind home, Ms. Ethel.