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People say the darndest things, and I’m just here to show you how dumb they sound.

5. “The cat’s out of the bag” – For this to mean ‘the secret’s out,’ they should’ve chosen an animal that keeps secrets. Everybody knows these cats ain’t loyal. Speaking of which…

4. “Cat got your tongue?” – You’re at a lost for words, and it’s because of a cat? Certainly not the 4-legged kind. If a cat got that close to your face, it would probably scratch you, and I’m sure you’d have plenty of words to choose from.

3.  “I’m tired as hell” – Are you awake as Heaven? Are you confused as purgatory? Are you quiet as Eden? How bout, you’re just really tired…

2. “That’s dope” – So why is that the drug that got chosen? Nobody says “that’s nicotine” or “that’s opiods!”

1. “It’s raining cats and dogs” – So it’s raining a whole lot. How come they didn’t choose animals who multiply like crazy? Why not say “it’s raining rabbits and roaches?”

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