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It’s Columbus Day, which literally means nothing to me. So let’s add some holidays on the calendar that actually have substance.

5. National Weed Rolling Day

biggest loser 6-24

Source: tsa twitter / tsa twitter

Amateur marijuana consumers call it “4-20.” But when you’re a connoisseur of cannibus, April 20 doesn’t mean anything to you. Unless you get the day off work to blaze all day…work on your rolling skills..try a bowl…or be adventurous, it doesn’t count. Close the banks for that!

4. National Side Chick Saturday

Valentine`s Day in Cluj-Napoca, Transylvania, Romania.

Source: Sebastian Condrea / Getty

The day after Valentine’s Day is usually dedicated to your side chick, but without the calendar notification, people don’t feel obligated. You better be good to your side chick; shes the last line of defense in keeping your marriage intact.

3. National Sunday Dinner Day

Father giving a gift to her daughter at the Christmas table.

Source: Tempura / Getty

A day where you sit with family and eat and think of all the things you’re thankful for. I think there’s already a day for that, but since it’s based on lies, because the pilgrims killed the natives and certainly ain’t share no food….let’s just make up another holiday, like they did.

2. Juneteenth


Source: narvikk / Getty

I know it’s a day already, but did you get off work for it? Cause I certainly used a PTO day. You get the 4th of July off, the day the so-called forefathers signed a document proclaiming their freedom, while my ancestors were enslaved. So….gimme my freedom day too! Especially in Texas…

1. National Voter Registration Day


Source: CS / CS

Yes, it’s already a thing. But do you get off work for it? Cause if you work a 12-hour shift, and you procrastinate like me, when you gone register to vote? So as long as we pretend our vote for president counts, like there isn’t an electoral college…let us off work so we can register!

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