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It’s finally here! I wrote a whole book! I know you’re probably tired of me talking about it, but here’s why you should get a copy:
5. It’ll Make you Feel Smart
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I’m not saying you can’t read, but maybe it’s just the big words you struggle with. That’s okay! I’m not here to judge; I’m here to nudge you in the direction of my book. It’s 88 pages and an easy read. You’ll feel like a scholar.
4. It’ll Fulfill Your Community Service Hours
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My book is about the time I was homeless, so buying it is giving money to a formerly homeless person, therefore making sure I’m never homeless again. See? You basically fed the needy.
3. I’m Half-Naked on the Cover
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Now I’m no Instagram model, but I did take a picture with a top and no pants. So if I’m a part of your deepest fantasies, you can see if you can see my panties.
2. Cause I Need to Make My Money Back
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Do you know how expensive it is to release a book?? My editor was $700, the book interior designer – I didn’t even know that was a thing – the final edit…oh my God. Don’t let all my past-due bills be in vein.
1. It’s a Great Motivational Tool
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Listen all jokes aside, I was real-life sleeping in my car all for my dream. I believed in myself so much that I chose to stay in Ohio homeless, instead of going back to Shreveport and starting over. And the gamble paid off. So if you’re going through it, remember: you do have hope. And hopefully you cop a brick and flip it so you never have to sleep in your car like I did. Just kidding, selling ass is easier.
