People say the darndest things, and I’m just here to make fun of them for it.
5. “Get the heck outta here!” -Uhhhh…where they going? You can’t give me half directions. That’s like me asking how to get to your house, and you say “just get in the car and drive.”
4. “Let me live” – I mean…if you do something crazy or dumb, I’m still gonna talk about you. Like, if you tell me to let you live and I say no…are you gonna die?
3. “Everybody and they mama”– If this means “a great amount of people,” where was their daddy? Cousins? Homeboys? Unless mama has a lot of kids, “everybody and their mama” could be 3 people.
2. “She’s not fat, she’s big boned” – They told me this when I was a kid, but when I was in biology, I never remember learning that some people’s bones are “big.” Start telling these kids the truth: baby, you’re fat. Let’s get you some exercise before you turn into Lil Terio.
1. “I’m fixing to…” – Now I’m from Shreveport so of course I grew up saying this. But it doesn’t make it less stupid. Are you fixing TWO of something? Are you FIXING something too?? Never does “about” and “fixing” mean the same thing. How are you FIXING to use the bathroom? What was broken that needs to be repaired before you can pee? I’m fixing to stop before you beat me up for judging you.
