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I got naked and got my back rubbed for the first time, and it changed my life!! Here’s why you need to a well.

5. Because We Sick of Your Attitude

Dallas Wings v New York Liberty

Source: Jennifer Pottheiser / Getty

You come to work with that stank face Monday – Friday. Listen, on Saturday, go let that woman work out those stress knots before you get beat up. Speaking of which…

4. It’s Cheaper Than Bail

Pay-To-Stay Prisons? Ohio Jails Hit Inmates With Fees While Incarcerated

Source: NewsOne Now Screenshots / Ohio ACLU

Ole girl at work got ONE MORE TIME to say something crazy to you, and you going to jail for assault. Instead of laying on a cot, go get rubbed on and listen to Erykah Badu and forget all about it.

3. It Relieves Your Sex Stress

Comedian Charlie Murphy Performs At Stress Factory Comedy Club

Source: Bobby Bank / Getty

I’ve been involuntarily celibate for 8 months, and tensions build up. You go work out them kinks…I feel like I can go another 8 months! I would rather not…but I could.

2. Because Your Boyfriend Ain’t Doing it Right

Take care of your hands

Source: Moyo Studio / Getty

You are not 19 anymore. Stop having that man rub you with that dollar store cocoa butter lotion, thinking he really cares about the stress in your neck. Baby, he’s trying to GET some neck.

1. Because Dammit You Deserve It!

Anti cellulite massage. Mederotherapy. Rolling Pin Massage. Massage Therapist doing healing massage with rolling pin or battledore . Woman enjoying in relaxing massaging at health spa treatment.

You ever planned an event? Babysat some bad ass kids? Moved? Ran out of gas? Been alive and breathing? Baby go get naked and get them oils rubbed on you! Treat yo’self!