I found out me and DJ Don Perryon were both born in Shreveport, and at the same hospital: I knew we were friends! Here are some people I wish I was friends with.
5. 50 Cent
If I ever have a problem with anyone, Ima just call my homie Curtis and make him handle it. You see what he did to Ja Rule and Teairra Mari.
4. Snoop Dogg
Now I love my weed man. He be having the John Blaze. But Snoop be having that different weed. I might die after, but if I’m already high, I’ll fly to Heaven quicker.
3. Magic Johnson
Listen, if I ever get sick, he’s the first person I’m calling! “Hey Uncle Magic, if you (allegedly) got the cure for HIV, I KNOW you can help with this upper respiratory infection!”
2. Donald Trump
Hear me out. Trump didn’t know the difference in Toledo and Dayton. He sniffs like he has a coke habit. And don’t even get me started on that hair piece. He CLEARLY has no real friends. Gimme 6 genuine months with him; I can fix the whole country.
1. Wendy Williams
Listen y’all can follow Megan and the City Girls if you want to. But Wendy is single-handedly keeping the hot girl summer alive. One dude got flewed out until she got tired of him, then she allegedly got a doctor…baby she’s living her best life and I just want her leftovers!