This weekend was enough to make anyone sad, so we all need to smile. Here are a few reasons I’m smiling today.
5. My ex got married Saturday
I’m not smiling because I’m happy for him; I’m smiling because hopefully he’ll stop texting me that he miss me. Good luck, sis!
4. I haven’t had sex in 8 months
I’m not smiling because I’m celibate; I’m smiling because when times get hard, at least I know I don’t have herpes. Hey Usher! Allegedly.
3. I got a crack in my windshield
I’m not smiling because I have to get it fixed. I’m smiling because I have Ohio plates and don’t need an inspection sticker, so I never have to get it fixed! Hey, Texas!
2. My family is coming in town this weekend
I’m not smiling because I’ll be happy to see them. I’m smiling because they like to pay for everything. Hey mama!
1. My book event is Friday!
I’m not smiling because I’m excited about it. I’m smiling because after y’all buy this book, I can pay my car note. Hey, Nissan!