People with kids can be so pretentious. They swear if you don’t have kids, you can’t possibly know a thing about children. Well since one parent pissed me off, time to piss them off…
5. Drink the Last of Their Juice
All your mama wants is a little Tropicana to herself, and you can’t even give her that. Now she has to drink tap water with her bologna sandwich. She’s gonna strangle you.
4. Talk to Them While They’re on the Phone
You SEE this phone up to her ear. What did you want that was so important that it couldn’t wait until she hung up with the dude she cheating on your daddy with??
3. Keep Going in and Out the House
It’s 700 degrees outside and you out here letting out the air?!? Don’t you have a video game to play?? Kids don’t even go outside anymore! Go sit down!
2. Ask if Your Friend Can Spend the Night
Your friend is already there; she’s supposed to say no, right in the baby’s face?? Now she has to make him a plate too, because you know his mama don’t feed him.
1. Ask for Stuff in the Store
The golden rule is: when we go in this store, don’t ask me for NOTHING. And your begging ass is just out here….begging. She might leave you at Walmart.