Shrimp Fried Rice Bandit Caught Stealing Co-Worker’s Lunch

Source: by IAISI / Getty

@ZamToscani shared a riveting office drama on Twitter Thursday, and the story continued to unfold Friday morning.

The tale includes a stolen order of shrimp fried rice, a chill-ass HR department and a cold-blooded villain at the center of it all.

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979448251546927104

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979451816478846976

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979454387268419584

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979459377504505856

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979460315027877888

Dude got hit by a smooth criminal.

Keep flipping for more.

So at this point we have to assume he did her dirty, right? Either that or she’s a legitimate danger to society.

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979460775197655040

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979463645645094913

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979751435633025024

He doesn’t want smoke, and doesn’t want her to get fired.

Dude just wanted to know who did it.

This is deeper than shrimp fried rice.

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979752976750227456

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979753592444796928

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979760017128620032

This is seriously better than television. Even if he’s making this up from his mom’s basement, this is quality programming.

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979761000445501440

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979761584963661824

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979762999836594176

Lol she said “Why you snitching, Zak?”

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979763900487950336

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979764264289251328

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979766129051627520

The folks who wrote The Office couldn’t make this shit up.

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979766654136598528

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979775824114036736

How do we go on from here? As an office, as a society, we just let people steal other peoples shrimp fried rice and act like it didn’t happen?

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979783218462310407

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979794653485531137

This can’t be life.

https://twitter.com/zaktoscani/status/979809832940093440

You should probably check your fridge to make sure your lunch didn’t run off while you were reading this.