Tyomi: When is a good time to speak to a new partner about recent STI tests and safer sex options?
Dr. Tiffanie: The appropriate time to begin the conversation about safer sex and STI status is most definitely before you enter into something sexual. This includes oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, masturbation or any type of genital play. It can be incredibly awkward (and will pretty much kill the moment) if you disclose in the heat of the moment that you currently have an STI, such as herpes. And likewise, it is irresponsible to inform someone of something like this after you’ve been sexually involved. The golden rule applies to the bedroom. Be forthcoming and treat your sexual partner the way you would hope to be treated.
Tyomi: How can a person begin a conversation about getting tested together?
Dr. Tiffanie: Start by explaining that the best sexual relationships are those without worry and that the license to explore one another without fear is very important to you. In an effort to build trust and have more freedom within your sexual relationship, you think it’s a good idea that you both get tested. Once you each know your status, you’ll be more relaxed with one another and feel excited about exploring each other’s bodies in the most insatiable of ways.
Tyomi: How have dating practices changed within the last decade?
Dr. Tiffanie: While chivalry isn’t dead, it may very well be on life support. Men, it will go a long way to go the extra mile to make a lady feel like she’s your queen for the evening. And likewise, many women are very much used to taking care of business all on their own. Ladies, it will be to your advantage to allow your date to take the lead. You may find that it feels really nice to sit back, relax and let someone else worry about all the little details.
LIKE BlackDoctor.org on Facebook! Get Your Daily Medicine…For LIFE!
Tyomi: How can one looking for a serious relationships avoid the traps of the hook–up culture?
Dr. Tiffanie: Be upfront and clear about your intentions – while you don’t want to scare someone off by talking about long-term commitment and kids on the first date, it’s not unreasonable to let your date know that you aren’t into having sex on the first date or that companionship is more important to you than a physical relationship, if that’s the case.
Shut down anyone who sends you a picture of their genitals – If someone thinks so little of you to send you a penis pic or a video exposing their most intimate moments, they are, in a sense, letting you know that nothing is off limits and they want to hook-up. A lack of response or simply letting them know that you’re not down for that will let them know right away that you may not be looking for the same things. People that send these types of unsolicited images online tend to send these types of texts to multiple people and are just waiting for the one that bites. It doesn’t have to be you.
If you’re updating your profile on a dating website be honest about what you are and aren’t looking for in a relationship. Most people will pretty much rule themselves out if they feel they don’t meet your expectations, meaning you’ll never hear from them. If you’re clear and upfront at the beginning, you’re more likely to not have to explain your intentions later on.
To find more information about how to take charge of your sexual health while dating visit http://www.ncshguide.org/. Connect with Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry for more advice and guidance on her website www.drtiffanie.com.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
Let’s Do It Again: How To Date After Divorce was originally published on blackdoctor.org
