2. Explore your body. 

Abstaining from sex doesn’t mean your body completely shuts down from being sexually responsive. While saving the full body-to-body experience for that special someone, use the spikes in your sexual energy as moments to explore your body. Use your hands to touch your erogenous zones (neck, chest, genitals, thighs, buttocks) and observe how your body changes as you touch yourself. This activity isn’t just for women either. Women respond primarily to touch where men are more turned on by visuals, but touch is just as important for men.

An easy and relaxing way to do this without feeling awkward is in a bath. It’s the only time you truly give yourself permission to relax. This is a great activity for women to use to get in touch with their sensual sides, and studies have shown that most women have their first orgasm experiences during bath time. It’s worth it in the end to know what your body responds to, so take the time to explore yourself.  You owe it to yourself and your coming partner.

3. Discover your desires. 

What are you into? Do you really know? What makes your body crave for more? After defining sexuality and exploring your body naturally your desires may change or they may begin to surface. It’s okay if you begin to find certain things sexy that others don’t. As long as they don’t harm yourself or anyone else, it’s healthy to feel what you feel. Every person will have different fantasies or sexual needs. Focus on what you would like to do with your lover from start to finish in your journal. Yes, you have to use your imagination, but sex truly does begin in the mind.

Fantasizing about sex can arouse your senses and give you an example of how you would put it down in the bedroom when it is time. Your writing doesn’t have to be novel worthy. Make it clear for you to understand and talk in the sexual language you feel comfortable with, whether using euphemisms for body parts or clinical terms.  Take some alone time and use writing as a way to paint a picture of your desires and as a way to express your sexuality while you wait for the one.

In The Meantime: 5 Ways To Become Sexually Healthy Between Relationships  was originally published on blackdoctor.org

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