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American Idol” commanded our attention for two hours yesterday as aspiring entertainers, nascent artists and the tone deaf grabbed opportunity by the groin for a shot at the perks associated with being on a national television show. Contrary to what Hollywood tells you, opportunity doesn’t only knock once and it took a woman with comestible hair to debunk that myth.

“It will never be your only shot, until you say it’s your only shot,” said a slumped Nicki Minaj to a disappointed “Idol” contestant. That was one of Nicki’s many messages, last night, to the melancholy hopefuls who didn’t qualify to make it to the next round.

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I’ll admit it. I only watched “American Idol” last night because Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey were on it. I decided I could stand one more of Randy’s “Dawgs” if that meant I’d get to witness Nicki’s reaction to the untalented. But Randy, probably so elated to be in the company of such beauty (no offense Steven Tyler and Keith Urban), was more relaxed than usual. He let the women shine and that’s exactly what they did. Cue Rihanna!

For a while, we thought Simon Cowell was God’s gift to judges. He was brutal but funny, knowledgeable and regal–in his own way. We were for sure that “Idol” was over after he left and not even Ryan Seacrest’s boyish smile and amicable sarcasm could do anything to save it. Not to mention, the competition… Rival shows “X-Factor,” “X-Factor UK,” “The Voice” and “America’s Got Talent” swooped down on “Idol’s” prime time audience with talons the size of Nicki’s famous anus.

Nicki Minaj The Best “American Idol” Judge Since Simon?  was originally published on

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