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A teaser for Chris Brown’s new documentary, “Welcome to my life” has been released, and in the short clip Chris reveals his feelings in the aftermath of the notorious Rihanna beating incident. In his own words, Chris says at first dating Riri was like a fairytale that had him feeling like real life rock stars. Then after the incident, he went from being on top of the world to becoming public enemy number one, saying he felt “like a f— monster” and even contemplated suicide.

Watch the emotional clip below.