Hollywood has a way of tainting some our favorite TV shows, children’s board games and even classic movies with terrible remakes and adaptations. But perhaps one of its worst offenses is how the big screen has treated our video games for nearly twenty years.
Poor scripts, crappy acting and disastrous sequels have left us suffering post-traumatic stress. Though we hate to dig up those feelings again, let’s light a candle for those bad movies inspired by video games that we dare never speak of again:
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Super Mario Bros (1993): Oh, a live action version of two little men that jump over mushrooms and smash their heads into bricks wasn’t a good movie? Duh. How this even made it to the big screen, we’ll never know. Not even the hilarious John Leguizamo could save this movie.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001): Angelina Jolie, bless her heart, is a really good dramatic actress. Too bad she can’t seem to find an action movie worth her time. And her role as a daisy duke sporting cave warrior who faces off against underground creatures is no exception. It’s an empty and surprisingly boring adaptation.
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D (2012): Once you introduce the idea of another dimension in your already weak horror film franchise, chances are you’re tapped out, after only one previous film. Add the gratuitous 3D and you’ve got the makings of a true dud.
Max Payne (2008): This shouldn’t have been as bad as it was. It’s a slick, neo-noir revenge film, with the current Hollywood-appointed action figure Mark Wahlberg as the title character. But with a dull script and unconvincing performances, the movie left us rooting for the bad guys.